Bullying Avoidance Strategies

  • Most of us have an option with bullying. We can face it we can try to avoid it.

    There are many methods of preventing a problem with bullying videos, but preventing the problem doesn't take the problem away.

    Avoidance strategies don't work since they do not take away the issue and they don't cure the matter. The problem stays and it continues to influence you.

    The longer you hide, the bigger the problem gets. The more you run, the longer the issue follows you and the larger it often becomes in your mind till you are feeling powerless to resolve it.

    Bullying continues till you make it cease or before the people bullying you opt to stop.

    They could quit if, or when, someone else - a bystander or a grownup [or group of either] tell them to stop. However they may not. They may feel they have no reason to discontinue.

    They might well have gotten comfortable in their role. It may have become normal for them to bully and for one to play the'victim' They might feel you haven't given them any reason to discontinue. They may believe they are gaining something from the circumstance, for any reason listed previously.

    You have to make it impossible for the bullies to continue hurting you. So as to do this you need to first acknowledge they're hurting you.

    This requires you to have a new attitude to the problem. I will inform you how to develop this in the future in the publication.

    I would like to take you through some of the'Avoidance Plans' that people typically use in response to bullying.

    Denial

    It is much easier to pretend that the bullying isn't occurring than it is to face it. Folks deny the difficulty to themselves and others. They refuse as bullying can be very frightening. To even admit that you are being bullied can be extremely daunting. I've spoken to thousands of young people in colleges because I began my work and I know that this fear is quite real.

    In addition, I remember a few occasions out of my own experiences where adults gave me the opportunity to disclose the problems I had been going through and I remember clearly that I did not take those chances. My fear, my shame, my embarrassment, my sense of powerlessness all held me .

    Rather I made up some excuse since I felt ashamed at feeling fearful and did not want anyone to know the pain I had been in. If people did ask if I was okay, I'd grin and say yes. In doing this I cut off by the support I could have had to sort out the situation.

    Whatever you're going through. Wherever bullying is happening, I want you to know that you are extremely lucky. There's an immense amount of help and support available for anybody on the issue of bullying. When I had been at college there was very little, perhaps none bullying was barely spoken about. There's never been more support and help available to you than there is right now and all you've got to do is ask.

    Ignoring It

    Young men and women tend to be counseled by adults to'dismiss' bullying. In my experience, I really don't feel that dismissing bullying works.

    What I believe adults are trying to say when they advise this is'do not think what that bullies state, don't allow their words to turn into your ideas or don't internalise it'

    You need to protect your self-esteem from the words that bullies usage and I will show you a very simple exercise to start doing so.

    However, in terms of bullying episodes themselves, I don't believe that'ignoring it' works as a long term strategy. Ignoring something nasty that is said to you once certainly can work. But bullying is not about one-off events. Bullying is persistent and insistent and even when you're pretending to ignore the bully, by walking off, by not looking at them responding to them, they all know that you have heard and have not responded.

    The simple fact that you are ignoring the episode is more likely to encourage them to state exactly the same things to you again and again. They may even make it their wish to persist in stating things until you finally crack and give them the emotional response they need.

    Visualisation

    This strategy is much more of a personal one in terms of how I tried to deal with being bullied. When I was at college, visualisation became an escape. I'd daydream or visualise being elsewhere while at school and in course and I would visualise having a different life once I returned home. I would lie on my bed and visualise bullying situations. I had actually close my eyes and picture or envision them in my head. Then I would edit it and change it and replay it with a new ending, I would see myself making different decisions than the ones I'd taken. So instead of being hit, I'd find myself fighting back. Instead of taking a insult, I would watch and listen to myself talking up and see it functioning. I would replay the very same scenes repeatedly, sometimes until I felt quite sick. Another thing I did with my visualisations would be to project them forward into what I imagined my life would be like later on, long after I'd left school.

    I discovered these visualisation's really helpful at the moment. They were an escape. I think somehow they allowed me a discharge, they let me undergo what I was experiencing.

    But there was a drawback.

    I didn't realise the consequences the visualisation's were having. What I didn't realise at the time is that visualisation is very powerful and your body responds to what you're depicting in mind as if it were actual.

    When you envision situations in mind and practice it to the stage that you can visualise things very clearly, you are feeling the emotions which correspond to these situations very powerfully also. You feel the physical effects of the situation you're visualising - if you are seeing a fight, for instance, you experience the same bodily reactions like the situation were real. Your body releases adrenaline and you also feel the same emotions - you feel enormous amounts of anger or anxiety. When you repeat the visualisation over and over, you end up flooding your body with adrenaline which is not healthy in any way.